A fire started yesterday in the Glion Sdorree at the edge of Cwm Dhopiwght. Firemaster Mel Chynsie attended to it with his usual haste and quickly the scorched giants were dowsed. We joined Mel for a glass of some of "Keylljagh" Cocker's home whiskey and some kipper. Picking at his salt-smoked Manx goose nervously in The Grumbling Scholar (Yn Acadoil Accanagh), one of our library public houses, he mentions that he found the ruined remains of our respected rivals' rag, The Rook (Yn Shirragh Ynnydoil), burnt and petrol-scented, nearby the site of the blaze, which consumed roughly 500 square meters before Captain Chynsie and crew were able to provide aqueous stopgap. Due to the lightning storm last night, the culprit was believed identified and so the evidence of the paper and petrol was ignored. No fulgurites were found in the area, however, which strongly precludes lightning as a cause, although simple natural processes of atmospheric science which usually aid investigations bear no truck with Constable Kniveton, who routinely overlooks the facts so as to assuage town unease, as this paper has reported in volumes past. One can only hope that no kind of reprisal will come to Captain Chynsie for accomodating our own arson investigation with his testimony.
SUBMITTED BY GUILLAG ALTARAGH AND YN CORLAIGYHR
